Stop Emotional Eating with this Somatic Practice
Savannah Kruger
June 7, 2023
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It takes courage to click on a blog post like this one. I hope it helps you take the next steps in creating a relationship of love, respect, curiosity, and tenderness with your own body. Healing my relationship with food took years of slowly learning to listen to my body’s wisdom, educating myself on the research, and refining the practices discussed in this post. I share it with you now because I truly hope it helps.
Something important I want to address before we dive in is the nature of eating disorders and who this post is for. This is for people who have identified they are eating when they are not hungry and would like to see if a new way of relating to food could be more nourishing for them. My intent is not for you to ever limit the amount of food you’re eating, but rather eat as much as your body truly needs and would feel nourished by. If you are someone who feels that limiting your food is challenging for your health or your mental health (maybe you’re experiencing anorexia, bulimia, or something of that nature), I’d suggest that you do not read on. Some of the ideas expressed in this guide could be interpreted as reasons to limit your eating and that’s definitely not my intent. We do not condone restricting one’s body of the food it needs in any way. Food can be medicine and our hope with this post is to help you live in greater alignment with the true needs of your body. If you are struggling with disordered eating or body dysmorphia, we recommend seeking support from a therapist or similar qualified mental health professional. We have so much love for you. Ok, let’s get into it.
A lot of people frame emotional eating as a habit that you just need to will yourself to stop doing. That’s not how I see it. Emotional eating is a function of the body’s reflexive response to emotions, thoughts, and sensations. Hence the “emotional” bit in emotional eating. The body tries to use food as a way to soothe or distract itself with the experience of eating and the dopamine hit eating sets off. Here’s a lil diagram I made in an attempt to simplify the neuroscience and explain what happens in your body when the drive to emotionally eat comes on.
What Causes Emotional Eating In the Body
Stimuli
Emotions
Thoughts
Sensations
RESPONSE
Unconscious discomfort feeling the emotion, thought, or sensation
ACTION
Unconsciously eats food to soothe or distract
So it’s not that you’re bad or wrong for emotionally eating. It’s that your body has an unconscious way of trying to “feel better” by consuming food. All of this happens unconsciously (meaning you’re not as aware of it happening and thus you’re less in control). So the way through is to become more conscious, more aware, and more present to the embodied experience of emotional eating (especially what happens immediately before we move to eat).
I emotionally ate foods with processed sugar in them. My body was totally addicted to processed sugar and I used it as a way to not feel the unmet needs that were arising in me as sensations and emotions. Now I see a beautiful innocence to the biochemistry and neuroscience within that causes us to emotionally eat. After spending years trying to will myself to stop emotional eating I started exploring the process I’ll lay out in this post. This process is one that invites you into a greater state of somatic intelligence, self-awareness, and ultimately self-love. It centers around the question: What do I really need right now? This question guided me out of my addiction to sugar and back into my body.
So let’s do it! When you notice a craving come on do the following steps.
1. Pause and Notice
As soon as you notice that you’re moving to reach for xyz food when it’s not what’s best for you, just stop. You can become still in the very position you’re in when you realize it. Slow down. See if you can notice what’s occurring in your body right now. Try to not judge or assess whatever is happening as bad or good. Just be curious. Is there a sense of discomfort, agitation, or some other sensation? Is there any sort of emotion alive in you? Was there a thought or thoughts that occurred? Just take inventory and witness. This is your meditation. For just 1 minute, see what you notice within.
2. Ask your body: What do I really need right now?
Now that you’re aware of what’s happening inside, you can consciously respond to whatever emotions, sensations, or thoughts are arising. We do this by asking ourselves what we need. Another way to do this is to ask your body what it needs. Asking your body questions and actually getting answers isn’t the most common practice (though I wish it was!) so I’ve listed out some potential answers to help feel into your own true answer.
You can ask yourself: Do I need…
Connection with Myself? Find a cozy spot to sit or lay down. Get still and listen to what arises in your mind, your body, your heart, your gut, etc. Some deeper wisdom may be waiting for you there. Journalling can be a wonderful way to express your body or your parts as well.
Connection with My Body? You can place your hands on your body and take a few breaths in silence, just being present with yourself.
Comfort? A full belly can feel momentarily comforting and satisfying, especially when we’re feeling sad, depressed, stressed, or bored. Instead of seeking comfort through food, find other creative ways to create comfort in your system. This could include: taking a few relaxing breaths, stretching, snuggling in a soft blanket, spending gentle time with an animal, asking for a hug or cuddles, etc.
To Slow Down? We often feel anxiety in response to rushing around, listening to things at 2x speed, and feeling an underlying urgency to everything. Slowing down and mono-tasking can be the remedy. Experiment with how slowly you can go about your day. Could you do this thing just 5% slower? How could you do this thing with 5% more softness and fluidity? Give it a try.
To Rest? What could you do right now to rest? Of course, it depends on how much time you have. The good news is that we can offer ourselves the experience of rest in the smallest of time increments. If you have just a little time, you can invite any constricted muscles to relax and take a few deep breaths. If you have more time, you could lay down, close your eyes, and take a glorious nap. You can also ask your body what it needs to relax and rest. Some interesting guidance might be waiting there for you.
A Change? Maybe something’s not working in your life and your body is pointing it out to you. You could explore this more by journalling on it. What’s one thing you could do to make a difference in this area? Ask your body what it needs from you to be at its best.
Inspiration & Motivation? Often we unconsciously eat because we’re bored, unmotivated, and uninspired. If you’re feeling this way, seek to draw the quality of inspiration and motivation back into your life. What’s one thing you’re excited or curious about? What if you gave yourself the chance to pursue it for even 5 minutes?
Movement & Exercise? Our bodies are at their best when they have regular, joyous movement. What’s one way you can give your body the movement, stretching, and exercise it needs to thrive? Give it that now.
Acceptance? What’s lying under the surface that needs your presence, empathy, and acceptance? See if you can feel into it and be with it.
Touch & Connection? Everyone deserves heaps of loving affection. If you’re in need of touch and physical connection, you can ask others for it and/or give it to yourself. Experiment with different kinds of touch on your skin and see what feels good to you.
To Feel My Emotions? Sometimes we reach for food to numb emotions that are coming up. Take a moment to get quiet and ask yourself what you’re feeling, what needs to be expressed, and let yourself feel what’s there.
A Reward? A lot of us received food as a reward or a treat growing up. So you could be seeking celebration, praise, and recognition for something. That’s such a beautiful, normal desire. Instead of emotionally eating, find some other way to celebrate yourself. It could be as simple as just asking yourself what would feel really nice to hear someone else say to you. Then you can say that to yourself.
Water? Sometimes when we want to eat and we’re not hungry, it’s because we’re actually thirsty. Have a big glass of water and see how you feel after.
Maybe You Need Something Else Entirely? Maybe what you need isn’t even on this list. Listen to your body and tune in to its wisdom and you’ll learn what you need most.
3. Give Yourself What You Really Need Instead
Whatever it is that you need, be it on this list or not, go take a lil time and give yourself that thing! Do it for as long as you need to, until you feel a deep sense of satisfaction in your being. You could experiment with doing a few of the things on this list.
The beauty of this practice is that you’re subtly rewiring your brain and body. You’re showing the more unconscious parts of yourself that you want to meet their needs directly and consciously – they don’t need to unconsciously try to meet their needs by emotionally eating. As you practice this again and again, it may be that you no longer need to emotionally eat because your needs are getting met. How beautiful!
4. Design Ways to Ensure this Need is Met in the Future
You meeting this need for yourself now is awesome and it’ll be even better to design a way to not have this need arise in the future because it’s already so deliciously fulfilled. So brainstorm a few ways to have this need consistently fulfilled well into the future. Put it on your calendar. Make plans with people that feed this desire in you. Create habits that keep this need met from now on.
Annnnd let me know how it goes! Drop a comment below. This practice was huge for me and I’d truly love to know how it is for you. You got this!
with so much love,
Savannah
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WRITTEN BY
Savannah Kruger
Hey! I help people heal trauma, design more beautiful lives, and create loving and secure relationships. Building this coaching practice has been a transformative experience for me. When I’m not at the computer, I’m typically off galavanting in the hills of Boulder, CO where I live, dancing wildly, running community events, or snuggling with my boo. Right now I’m nerding out on neurobiology, energywork, human sexuality, personal style, Persian cuisine, and DAOs. In the past I’ve designed and led a range of in-person and online programs at Harvard, with MIT, at Boulder Startup Week, and many others. I’m truly stoked you’re reading these very words! 😉
1 thought on “Stop Emotional Eating with this Somatic Practice”
I just read this article and it’s the nourishment and care I’ve been missing. A few years ago I started by reading intuitive eating and have made a lot of progress in stopping the war with my body but listening to the foods my body actually wants for nourishment. This is a critical thing I’ve been trying to figure out about why I’m causing myself pain by continuing to eat. The reward, uninspired and design a plan to continuously meet this need pieces has me in tears. Thanks!